Ke$ha:
She has been referred to around the web as "the poor man's GaGa"
Sandwiches:
Yuck. I can't stand sandwiches!
Mariah Carey:
I never liked you, and your music is lame.
Sammi and Angelina from Jersey Shore:
These clams are both mean-spirited drama queens who think their sh*t don't stink!
Captain Morgan:
You know what you did...
She and Him:
I love Zooey Deschanel. She's adorable! But every time this band comes on the radio I get a sick, diarrhea feeling is my gut.
Winter:
It never looks this good in real life. Also, winter fashions are not cute.
Steven Seagal:
No matter how old and fat he gets, he is always the "hero", and he always gets the hot young Asian chick... Delusional much?
Kate Gosselin:
Is an attention hungry monster.
Mel Gibson:
No, you're the one who's going to Hell!
Ben & Jerry's:
Though you are delicious and I love you, you also made me fat.
(but I still love you)
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